Two Years ago, I was a mess. I felt that so many choices I had made were turning me into an alcoholic zombie, a wandering heart with too much love given and taken and I felt very alone despite.
Had it not been for a wonderful friend and confidante, I don't think that I would be sitting here content, calm and so sure of who I am and where I am at.
This special person became my boyfriend. His naive wisdom captivated me and his obvious intelligence, way beyond the norm of someone his age, gave me a voice to work out my bohemian thoughts I had collected so hastily along the way. I admit, I felt very strongly against our partnership and tried thoughout our first year to deter him from me. I was dangerous and seeing how friends and acquaintances had taken claim on their interpretation of me, he was undeserving of a life or first love with 'someone' like me. Yet, something deeper was always there, a notice, a sign that even if just platonic, we would have gotten together somehow anyway.
The first awkward moment of intimacy was catapulted by innocent drinks, good conversation and the dreaded early last call of Dublin bars. We walked to my temporary rental and after great discussion, I asked him to leave for fear I would take advantage of him, he stayed. For a week.
Neither of us understood what this meant be we remained, we truly respected eachother as friends. We continued in a hazy mix of exploratory sex, talk and drink.
I finally said goodbye after a shared taxi ride on the way to the airport. He dropped off and the taxi sped forward. I turned back, not knowing why, and there he was smiling as I was. Our shared moment was the beginning of what began a sweet and torturous realisation that indeed we were a good couple.
A year ago we swayed in eachother's arms at one of the best concerts of my life. We celebrated by living together for the first time and discovering from a non long distance trial that relationships can be simple, that adventure can be found without chaos and that we loved eachother for who we were and nothing changed except out growing affection, imagination and trust.
With all the mistakes and hard times I have made RV encounter along this journey, I realise now that fear and uncertainty took reign; that I was so scared of giving myself completely and scared of who I really was. Silly Girl. Who would have thought this young man would teach me a thing or two. RV you did teach me so many things and I know that now.
RV is an incredible person and lover. He never rejects any idea or emotion and only makes me want to be a better person. I still look out for him like a protective older sister (he is too nice!) but never will I underestimate his knowledge and capacity to love, to love me.
Through all these hard times, you were there for me because you believed I wasn't so bad. Baby, thank you...RV I am so proud to be with you for two years and I hope that there are many more to come.
Happy Anniversary! Many, many kisses from your 'Mogwai'.
-RV's Girl Listening to UNKLE